Aikido and Systemic Sculpture Work in Groups and Organizations
by David Sikora

In the early 80s I attended a weekend course about family communication in the countryside north of LA. It was a mixed group of professionals and lay people, and a mixed curriculum of mainstream family therapy, communication exercises and a dose of new age spirituality. Somewhere in the middle of the workshop, the trainer cleared an area and introduced a friend of his who came out wearing a white judo jacket and a black long skirt. I remember thinking, "what is this (or he) supposed to be?"

This new guest was an Aikido teacher, wearing a judo suit with a black skirt-like covering over his suit pants. What he demonstrated with a few of his students was totally fascinating and new for me. The teacher would let himself get attacked in various ways by his students, sometimes they would throw punches or kicks, try to grab him or even hit or stab him with a broom handle. Each time he would, seemingly without strain or apparent effort, disarm his attacker and bring him under control. A major difference to other martial arts that I had experienced or seen in films was that there was no hitting, kicking or other kinds of intimidation, humiliation or defeat imposed on the "aggressor". As the demonstration went on, it looked more and more like a fun dance, the spectators and the participants were smiling and laughing. The Aikido teacher explained that his goal was to blend with his "apparent" attacker, become one with him and find a way at the physical level to transform the "apparent" conflict situation to one of togetherness and harmony. He kept using the word "apparent", because, he said, an attack is merely a matter of perspective. We can also perceive a thrown punch as a gift of energy, provided we are relaxed and awake enough to "receive" the gift in an appropriate manner. We were encouraged to try out a few simple movement patterns, and also to experiment verbally with responses to apparent verbal attacks, responses that include the attacker and offer possibility of unity.

This experience motivated me to try out Aikido in my home area. I began training regularly in the mid 80s. At some point along the way, I noticed something was changing for me in my work as a therapist and group leader. It is not easy to put in words exactly what that difference is, but if I had to pick a single word to describe the change, then it would be "safety". I was feeling more relaxed, at the same time more engaged with the people coming to me. I felt more involved in them as people, more interested. I became more willing to challenge them in their assumptions, and it seemed I could feel when they were "asking for it", wanting to be called for some inconsistencies or just plain nonsense. The work became more fun for me and I am sure for my clients and groups as well. I felt more alive and in flow with them.

I believe this comes from learning to deal with confrontation on a regular, physical basis on the mat, and that this practice translates in time to the psyche.

Sheldon Kopp, at the very beginning of his bestseller, "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him", uses the metaphor of being (sometimes) in a kind of Judo match with his clients when they come in for therapy. He writes about having to be awake, agile and in skilled in psychic self-defence in order to avoid getting caught in their mind games.

Kopp's comparison of psychotherapy to Judo has some similarities with the Aikido-therapy synthesis, but what he describes has a somewhat cold and defensive ring to it. If successful, he has managed not to get "caught". As with my attempts to protect and calm myself with meditation, the therapist may feel better, but there is no enhanced connection to the client.

In Aikido we are actively seeking to join or entrain with our partner. It is a warm, connecting encounter that allows the other to change and move. In the therapeutic setting, the therapist is moving with the client, and can feel, detect course changes immediately and respond in the interest of the client, himself and their relationship. This can mean slowing down the process, guiding in a new direction etc. This parallels with the activities "pacing and leading" as described by Bandler and Grinder in their early NLP work.

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About the author:
David Sikora was born in NYC, attended the City University of New York, (BA 1973) and Goddard College in conjunction with the San Diego Institute for Transactional Analysis (M.A. Counselling Psychology 1978.) He has lived in Germany since 1984, and his postgraduate training includes Gestalt therapy, NLP, systemic family therapy, Lomi Body Work, and Ericksonian clinical hypnosis.

In addition to a private practice for psychotherapy and family counselling, he also works as a psychological supervisor and trainer in various private and public health and educational institutions.

Practicing Aikido since 1986, he is a 2nd Dan (Nidan) black belt and teaches in his own dojo in Limburg, Germany.