Aikido and Systemic Sculpture Work in Groups and Organizations
by David Sikora

On an energetic level we understand conflict as a situation where two forces are colliding or trying to move apart in diametrically opposed directions. In the human arena, however, conflict starts on the intrapersonal level. When you say "white" and I respond with "black", then I have made a choice, and that occurred within me. I felt something in response to your "white" and chose, maybe not so consciously, to move against it. I could have said "ok!" This means simply that all conflict begins with inner conflict, so called ambivalence, which suggests the physical model described above happening inside our bodies. Naturally humans are complex beings, so often we have inside our heads (Shakespearean would say in our breast) many competing voices and urges all demanding attention. The essential challenge for the individual in a perceived conflict situation, is to become aware of his/her own inner conflict(s), resolve these first and then go on from a literally new, clarified position or "standpoint" to deal with whatever the external situation is presenting. In theory simple, but of course, putting that into practice isn't. In my work with groups and individuals, I have seen over and over again that once people do the admittedly difficult work and come to inner resolution, the outer work is at least half done. The outer problems, if not directly solved, can be dealt with much more easily. We solve problem with increased grace and ease when we are relaxed, and relaxation can be described as a state of resolved inner tension.

I believe all therapists/helpers start out with ambivalent feelings about what they are doing. They want to help and feel positive about this intention, and at the same time they are somewhat afraid and uncertain, with good reason. There are a lot of unknown variables when working with individuals seeking help, and these factors can increase geometrically when dealing with a group or team. Unfortunately what often happens is that the helper, in trying to protect himself and deal with conflicting feelings, walls himself off behind a veneer of "professionalism" that too often separates him from the people he wants to help.

In my search to resolve my own inner conflict of wanting to help others, but at the same time being afraid of them as well as being afraid of doing something wrong, I attempted to center and to calm myself by practicing meditation and visualisation before my work with clients and groups. So I had a mask of peacefulness on, and inside I was nervous and trying to hide it. As if the people sitting across from me didn't notice! This kind of protective wall can be in itself more hindering than helpful. I felt intuitively that something was missing, though I couldn't then say what that something was.

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About the author:
David Sikora was born in NYC, attended the City University of New York, (BA 1973) and Goddard College in conjunction with the San Diego Institute for Transactional Analysis (M.A. Counselling Psychology 1978.) He has lived in Germany since 1984, and his postgraduate training includes Gestalt therapy, NLP, systemic family therapy, Lomi Body Work, and Ericksonian clinical hypnosis.

In addition to a private practice for psychotherapy and family counselling, he also works as a psychological supervisor and trainer in various private and public health and educational institutions.

Practicing Aikido since 1986, he is a 2nd Dan (Nidan) black belt and teaches in his own dojo in Limburg, Germany.