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who have the desire to cultivate a life of clarity, compassion,
and creativity. We warmly welcome our new subscribers. Thanks
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at seishin@seishindo.org.
1. Starting Line
The weather was lovely in Manhattan and I decided to take a
stroll through Central Park. After walking around a bit and
taking in the colors and scents of a lovely spring day, I stopped
at a clearing with benches and took a short respite. Looking
around I noticed a gentleman perhaps in his eighties, sitting
on a park bench about ten feet away from me. He was dressed
in a corduroy sports coat and jeans, and he was sitting slumped
over and looking like he was having trouble staying awake.
Within a few minutes time a woman in her thirties came walking
towards us with her son who was perhaps four years old. Even
though the older gentleman appeared to be just short of snoring
himself to sleep, he noticed the woman and her child at the
same moment I did and he engaged in an amazing metamorphosis.
The man sat up straight and appeared to gain about six inches
in height while losing ten to fifteen years in age. His face
lit up with a smile and his eyes began to twinkle. It was as
if a puppet that had been laid aside, was brought to life by
his loving puppet master. Each breath he took filled his body
with vitality, and his spirit came to life with a glow that
was palpable.
The mother let go of her young son's hand and the boy quickly
ran to the old man and they hugged and exchanged greetings.
"How are you doing Billy?" the man asked. "Great
grandpa!" the boy replied, and they immediately started
trading playful comments. The mother reached the park bench
and said a simple hello which the man replied to in kind, and
she sat down as the boy and his enlivened companion continued
with their banter. My heart went out to the affectionate trio,
and I could feel the warmth of their love.
After about twenty minutes of playful sharing, the mother and
her child bid farewell to the old man and made their way back
in the direction they had come from. The man stared at them
lovingly as they disappeared into the distance.
"What a lovely grandson." I said to the man.
"Not my grandson." he said, "But I love him
as if he is."
"A little more than a year ago my wife died." "My
only child lives in California, and he and I do not get along
all that well. My son attended the funeral but we did little
talking. When the services were over and everyone went home,
I felt like I had little reason to live, and I sat on this very
bench wondering how long it would take me to complete the task
of dying."
"Shortly after that I first happened to meet Billy and
his mom." "He was chasing after a butterfly and he
ran right into me, and my love affair with him was born."
"If it was not for Billy I am sure I would be dead by
now."
"Dying would not have been so bad," the man said.
"We all have to die eventually. The sad part would have
been dying without love in my heart."
"Billy has made my life complete. He has become the son
that I could never understand or talk to. He has taught me how
to love."
We looked at each other for a moment or two, and then I got
up to leave. "Thank you." I said. "You have helped
me to understand how important it is to share our life with
others. You have blessed me as a witness to this sacred communion."
2. Main Course
The quality of one's life to a large extent is determined by
the quality of our relationships with others. When we feel we
have no choice but to face the world alone, we suffer emotionally,
physically, and spiritually, and no degree of outward success
can replace or repair the lonely feeling in our heart. No matter
how talented, wealthy, or trim and fit we might appear to be,
without supportive relationships it is a difficult challenge
for any one of us to maintain physical and emotional health.
Children, pets, loved ones, mentors, colleagues, and teachers,
can all help us fulfill our need for connection to other sentient,
limbic beings.
Our nervous system is an "open loop learning system"
that draws on energetic connections with others in order to
continually adapt and hopefully flourish. This concept of "open
loop learning" is very much a part of the theory of Aikido.
When being attacked in an Aikido class we are hoping to move
towards "joining with" our adversary and creating
the energetic connection that can lead towards stabilization
of both parties emotions, and a sense of physical and emotional
completion. We come to understand each attack as a physical
expression of loneliness and alienation, and the desire for
connection. A sense of separation from others leads to fear,
and fear can easily lead to feeling like you are about to be
attacked, and thus attacking others preemptively. In Aikido
we gain a direct understanding of how a physically and emotionally
healthy person requires ongoing enrichment, stabilization, and
support from the nervous systems of others.
When we talk about the interaction of nervous systems amongst
mammals, we are pointing to the fact that the nervous systems
of two people in relationship very definitely communicate with,
inform, and change each other. Our emotional connection with
others clearly affects our moods, emotions, hormonal flow, digestion,
body clock, and even the structure of our brains. Without conscious
direction and without the need to think, our nervous systems
are always learning from and adapting to our interactions with
the nervous systems of others. Not all that surprising once
you think about it. At the very least, for millions of years
mammals have had the need to intuit which other mammals are
safe, and which are predators. As mammals we have a limbic-emotional
connection with each other that leads to procreation and family
structures, and these relationships do not necessarily require
the capacity to think, analyze, or rationalize. Emotional understanding
of our self, others, and our relationships, comes prior to thinking.
We can easily find numerous examples of the importance of supportive
limbic-emotional contact with others. It is fascinating to note
that baby monkeys who have lost their mothers at an early age,
not only wind up with various developmental problems, but they
also prove incapable of living successfully with the rest of
their community. The same is true for children forced to grow
up in harsh, sterile conditions. Indeed with children growing
up in orphanages that show little in the way of human contact
and emotional bonding, the mortality rate of the children is
dreadfully high. High quality health and emotional well-being
requires supportive limbic relationships. Our nervous system
needs to locate and be nurtured by other nervous systems in
order for us to have a sense of stability and completion. A
limbic connection with others helps us to develop a deeper sense
of safety, calmness, and dignity. Our need to live our life
in supportive limbic relationships is very much a wonderful
fact of life, and not at all a weakness to be overcome. As mammals
we all require "a little help from our friends."
3. Practice
"Active
Dreaming"
This is a Practice that I use over and over again in my workshops.
If you would like to contemplate various aspects of your relationships
with those
close to you, you will find this Practice to be of great help.
4. Links
Archedigm - http://www.archedigm.com
Today I have the great pleasure of introducing you to a respected
teacher that I first met more than twenty years ago, and recently
hooked up with again when a student happened to mention her
name in passing.
Linda Keiser Mardis is a
gifted and caring teacher and practitioner. She is a Master
in The Usui System of Reiki Healing, teaching the system since
1982 and having a private practice since 1979. She is also a
facilitator/trainer in The Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and
Music. She is an intuitive consultant; an author; a musician;
a minister, ordained in a non-main-line church; a recorded music
program designer; and a cofounder of Archedigm, Inc. Linda's
work is of the highest quality. Please have a look at her site.
5. Suggested Books by
Cindy Franklin
"The Gift of Fear" by
Gavin DeBecker is an enthralling, moving, and enlightening
book. DeBecker, who grew up in a violent family and is currently
a security professional, has made a lifelong study of how to
protect those who are targets of violence. He describes and
distinguishes between two kinds of fear. One is fear that is
a clear somatic/intuitive signal that should be paid attention
to, and the other is neurotic fear which is debilitating and
mainly based on memories of past experiences, rather than being
a signal of current danger. He shares helpful descriptors of
the kinds of behavior and patterns of relating that could signal
a potentially dangerous person, whether these behaviors may
be found in a disgruntled employee or in a romantic suitor.
He also gives helpful tips for deescalating violent situations.
Finally, DeBecker's potentially life-saving advice is illustrated
with fascinating stories and anecdotes that make it all come
alive.
6. Suggested Music
Rather than reviewing a CD today, I would like to fill you
in on the great new music set-up I have for my workshops.
I recently purchased an Apple
iPod (I got the 20 gigabyte size, which I think is
the best value for price.) Along with the iPod I purchased
a "Navipod" put
out by Ten Technology. The Navipod lets you operate the iPod
remotely. Anywhere within the room you are in you can adjust
the volume, pause the track you are listening to, and change
tracks by going forward or back, one track at a time. I purchased
a wire or two so I can connect the iPod to most any stereo
system or boombox I might encounter, and now I am set to fly,
without needing to carry around 50 CD's! Fantastic set-up
and very easy to be up and running. Beyond this I also bought
a Griffin iMic which will allow me to record sessions and
brainstorming into the iPod.
7. Our subscribers recommend
Alinda Lord writes:
Hello,
Thought I'd take a moment to tell you how much I appreciate
your newsletter. I just started receiving it. It is rare to
find one I read slowly and from 'cover-to-cover'. Thanks.
Also, here's a new website subscribers might be interested
in http://www.zaadz.com.
I have met Brian Johnson, the Chief Business Guy. He puts out
a newsletter called *zaadz Wisdom
that is the only other newsletter I value 110%. Thoughtful,
insightful and worth every moment I give to it.
Your newsletter is a gift every time I receive it.
All the best,
Alinda Lord
Speaker, Facilitator, Coach/Consultant
Specializing in personal and corporate ritual creation -- because
we're all one tribe. http://www.damnfinecoaching.com.
The Seishindo team thanks Alinda heartily
for her recommendation and kind words about our newsletter.
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"Pure Heart, Simple Mind"(tm) is written and edited by Charlie
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