Stacking Realities

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Workshop Announcements The discipline of Seishindo offers you the best of both Eastern and Western models of health and well-being. A remarkable system that merges Oriental philosophy with Western science. Join our supportive learning community and awaken to and acknowledge the profound changes you can foster in your life by paying closer attention to the way you use words to describe your personal reality. Click on these links to find out about the details: NLP Coaching Workshop The Power of the Spoken Word Washington, DC, October 29-30-31, 2004 New York City, October 23-24, 2004

1. Simple Story

Recently a new client told me he had an important issue he wanted to work on. He was feeling a lack of support at work, and thus he was losing confidence in his ability to do his job. I asked for some details, and here is the conversation that transpired:

"My boss is often harsh with me, and I wind up feeling like a fool. In fact, he reminds me a lot of my father. My father was always making fun of me. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him, and he never helped me to understand the best way to proceed with a new task."

"You know, the first time I went off to summer camp my father required me to do all of the labeling of my clothes on my own. He required this without telling me what to do, and how. I was very embarrassed when I turned out to be the only boy at camp that had his name written on the outside of all of his underwear, instead of on the inside."

"The embarrassment I experienced at summer camp was heightened when I went back to school. My classmates made fun of me when I changed for gym and they saw my name written on the outside of my underwear. They asked me if I was afraid I might forget my own name!"

"By the time I got to high school all of the abuse I had received from others had turned me into a real loner. Most kids took the bus to school, but I wound up riding my bike back and forth every day, even though it took me an hour each way. Then finally my bike got stolen, and I was too embarrassed to start taking the bus, because I knew the other kids would ridicule me, so I started staying away from school."

At this point my client was slumped over, his head down, and he seemed to barely be breathing.

I let him stay like this for a full minute, and then I gently asked him. "A few minutes ago you told me the issue you were wanting to work on with me. Can you please repeat what you said earlier?"

He looked up at me, and he seemed somewhat disoriented and embarrassed. After a few moments he said "I feel stupid, but I don't remember what I said initially. I hope you won't think I'm a fool!"

"I don't at all feel like you are a fool." I replied. "Instead, I realize you have been spinning a very powerful story, and in the process of telling your story, you have become somewhat disoriented."

"Your feeling foolish has nothing to do with your intelligence. Feeling somewhat foolish is what happens to all of us when we lose track of the thread of continuity we have woven from the past, through to the present. "

"You lost your place in your own story as you skipped from one scene to the next. In my work we call this 'stacking realities, one upon the other'. We start out telling a story about the present, and before we recognize it, we slip into telling a story from the past. In the process, we wind up feeling just like we did 'way back then'. Our current emotional sense of reality is determined by way we felt as a child."

"In our work together, you will cultivate a new sense of identity by engaging in Seishindo practices, and you will learn how to experience your past from the present. You have many talents, abilities, and insights now, that you did not have as a child. You can use today's strengths, to help you understand yesterday's heartbreaks."

2. Further Thoughts

In our last newsletter we talked about "the continuity of self" and in this newsletter we have expanded on this theme.

There is a part of me that holds the experience of my whole life as my identity.
There is a part of me that starts out with a current hardship in mind that I want to change or do away with.
There is a part of me that becomes totally engrossed in telling my story regarding my current hardship.
There is a part of me that gets disoriented in the process as I get sucked by a strong force, and wind up plummeting into the past. Without my conscious awareness, I drastically change my time coordinates from the here and now, to the past, and in the process I wind up with a kind of emotional jet lag.

In the field of NLP we call this phenomenon of shifting time coordinates, "stacking realities." We leave the present without the awareness of our conscious mind, and we travel back to the past and find ourselves stuck there with little or no emotional resources. When viewed from the past, the present feels overwhelmingly hopeless. Imagine for instance, being twenty five years old and thinking about leaving home from the perspective of a five year old boy who feels abandoned and lonely. Phew! Moving out on one's own would seem like an overwhelming task.

When faced with a challenge, whenever possible, we need to breathe deeply, make sure we stay in the here and now, and bring the past TO us, rather than traveling back to the past by stacking realities. If we shift back to our childhood traumatic identity when attempting to help ourselves in the present, we will rarely find the resources we need to create positive change in our life.

There is a mantra I often repeat when I want to refrain from stacking realities:

"I AM PERFECT AS I AM."
"JUST NOW I AM FEELING AND UNDERSTANDING MY CORE SELF."
"MY PATH IS MY PATH, AND I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO FOLLOW MY HEARTS DESIRE."

Check out today's Practice and you might find that this mantra is helpful for you as well.

3. Practice - "Melting the Thinking Mind"

Today's Practice can give you a meaningful experience of what I have been discussing above. Give this Practice a try and let us know what changes for you.

"Melting the Thinking Mind"

4. Resources

NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis in NEW YORK CITY

Today's link is to the site of a friend and colleague that I have just recently met. Doug O'Brien is a warm-hearted person who teaches NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis, mainly in NYC. If you are interested in certification courses in NLP and Hypnosis, if you are looking for a coach, or if you are interested in various NLP related products, you will find Doug's site to be of interest. Please stop by and have a look. If you want to be certified as NLP Practitioner or Master-Practitioner by January, check his Fall 2004 Class Offerings today!

E-mail Doug at: Doug@Ericksonian.com
or call him at 1-877-DOBrien (362-7436)

5. Suggested Books by Cindy Franklin

"The Spirit of the Shuar" by John Perkins and Shakaim Mariano Chumpi, published by Destiny Books.
This book offers a fascinating window into the world of a people who live in the Amazon jungles, and who have never been colonized by any outside power. A courageous, generous, and mystically minded people, they have almost no material possessions but do have ways of engaging the world that bring them joy and meaning. Most fascinating is their spirituality, healing ability, and perspective on safeguarding the earth.

6. Suggested Music

"Blue Light Til Dawn" by Cassandra Wilson
Cassandra Wilson has just recently jumped up on my radar screen big time. She is a tremendous talent.
Cassandra is described as a postmodern jazz singer. She takes her material from a wide range of genres and transforms it into something truly her own. At times she has a bit of the sound and feel of Diana Krall. Wonderful woman to listen to!
This book offers a fascinating window into the world of a people who live in the Amazon jungles, and who have never been colonized by any outside power. A courageous, generous, and mystically minded people, they have almost no material possessions but do have ways of engaging the world that bring them joy and meaning. Most fascinating is their spirituality, healing ability, and perspective on safeguarding the earth.

7. Endnote and Invitation

If you have a business, hobby, group, or organization that you would like other members of the Seishindo community to know about, then please send us a short write-up (two or three sentences) here. You don't have a website? Then let us know how other members might contact you by phone, fax, in person, or in writing.

We also invite you to send in:
A) Questions and comments relating to what you read here.
B) Experiences that relate to the "Practices" presented.
C) The names of books/music/services/products, etc. you feel might be of interest to the Seishindo community. Please include a short write-up (two or three sentences) about your selections and send all input here.

8. Copyright

Unless otherwise attributed, all material for the newsletter "Pure Heart, Simple Mind"(tm) is written and edited by Charlie Badenhop ©. All rights reserved.

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