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Serving a community of private individuals and professionals
who have the desire to cultivate a life of clarity, compassion,
and creativity. We warmly welcome our new subscribers. Thanks
for joining! Your feedback is encouraged. Please feel free to contact us.
1. Experience
In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger and resentment
we need to be able to forgive our self and others. The longer
we dwell on hurtful situations from the past, the longer we
keep our self from living fully in the present. Forgiveness
is an act of kindness. An act of kindness to your self, as it
leads to a sense of personal freedom.
Recently I had a client who had a lot of resentment towards
her mother for many things that she had done to her in the past.
"I don't want to forgive my mother for what she did in
the past." my client said. "What she did is wrong,
and she has never apologized."
I hear this very same statement from many clients who are living
with resentment, whether it be towards their parents, their
spouse, or their boss.
I asked my client if she felt that anyone other than herself,
was responsible for, and capable of, making her happy. After
a rather long and convoluted discussion, she said that when
it was all said and done, she realized that she was indeed the
only one that could make herself happy.
We sat there together for a while, and then I took a deep breath
and suggested that my client do so as well. Here is an idea,
I said. "What if as a totally selfish act, done simply
for your own personal happiness, you decided to go ahead and
let go of the resentment you had towards your mom, so that you
would no longer need to have resentment clouding your life.
What would that be like?" "You would not be saying
that what was done to you was OK. You would simply be letting
go of the resentment so that your own life would be happier.
Would you want to let go of your resentment if it meant you
would feel greater happiness?"
We sat there together for a while and my client's face softened.
She said that if she was able to let go of her resentment, it
would be like lifting a weight from her shoulders, and removing
a dark cloud from her heart.
"With all you have been through," I said. "With
all of the pain you have suffered, wouldn't it be a wonderful
gift to yourself if you could lift this weight from your shoulders
and remove the dark cloud from your heart? Would it not be wonderful
to be freed from your hurt and resentment?"
She sat there for a while, as tears formed, and she said very
softly "Yes, I want to feel good. I want to feel love.
I want to feel free."
"So" I said, "In order to free yourself from
pain and open your heart to love, you would be willing to go
so far as to forgive your mother if this is what you felt was
necessary for your own personal happiness?"
She was somewhat hesitant, but said "Yes."
"Remember" I said, "I am suggesting that you
do this purely for selfish reasons. Not because you want to
actually forgive your mom at this point in time, but because
you want to free yourself to live a happier life."
My client said "Yes, when it is said like this, I have
the resolve to forgive my mother, in order to free myself to
live a happier life."
"Good I said. "Hold these thoughts and feelings in
your heart for a while and then we can talk about how to actually
accomplish your forgiving."
How about you? Are you holding onto any resentment? Are you
ready to recapture your happiness? Would you be willing to undertake
the radical act of forgiveness in order to free yourself? I
certainly hope so.
And if not today, maybe tomorrow.
2. Commentary
This issue's commentary is different than usual. Recently,
we have made a new friend and colleague, by the name of Bruno
Gideon. Bruno has a wonderful weekly newsletter called "1-Minute
Email." It is short, and definitely sweet. It has
just so happened that Bruno has also been recently writing about
"Forgiveness" and I want to take this opportunity
to introduce Bruno and share his thoughts on this topic. Here
is what he had to say:
The power of forgiveness
Forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself. To forgive has
nothing to do with another person. It is a decision you make
within yourself. Not to forgive means choosing to remain a victim
and that would be more hurtful in the long run with endless
negative feelings and senseless loss of energy. It is really
not difficult: on a quiet moment, simply identify the situation
and ask yourself: Do I want to waste my energy further on this
matter? If the answer is No, that is it; to forgive is the best
way out.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
- Mother Theresa
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools
the sting.
- William Arthur Ward
The weak can never forgive. Forgiving is the attribute of the
strong.
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
Bruno's commentary:
Forgiving is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of inner strength
and positive self-esteem. It is a message to ourselves that
we don't want to live with anger, hatred and pain. Forgiveness
is not forgetting the past, but learning from it and accepting
reality. It would be nice to be able to turn back the clock,
but that just isn't possible. Forgiving also doesn't justify
what others have done to us, nor the pain we have suffered.
It does, however, allow us to look at old scars and see them
for what they are. And it allows us to see how much energy we
have wasted and how much we have damaged ourselves by not forgiving.
Most importantly, the pain from our past can no longer dictate
our life and determine our future. Finally we are free.
Right now, is there somebody in your life where you could practice
the art of forgiveness?
Bruno's weekly 1-Minute Email is
a free service from Bruno Gideon, the author of the book "Don't
Take No for an Answer!" His website is: http://www.brunogideon.com.
To Subscribe to Bruno's newsletter:
Please sign up at: http://www.brunogideon.com/email/subscribe.html.
3. Practice
The
Gift of Forgiveness
This is a simple yet profound Practice. If you have been following
and experimenting with our other Practices along the way, you
might notice that today's Practice has a very similar structure
to two other Practices. These three Practices ("Today
...", "Today,
my anger is about ...", and "The
gift of forgiveness") follow a particular structure
for meaningful personal dialogue that I have uncovered over
the years. Little by little, absorb this structure into your
bones, and then start creating your own Practices, based on
different concerns!
5. Suggested Books by Cindy Franklin
"Homeopathy: Beyond Flat Earth
Medicine" by Timothy R. Dooley, N.D., M.D.
This book is an excellent introduction to homeopathy.
It explains the aspects of homeopathy that make it an attractive
medical system. Contemplating this book, one quickly recognizes
that homeopathic treatment is based on principles similar
to Seishindo, and that homeopathy has similar qualities
and benefits.
Some of the ways homeopathy is like Seishindo are as follows:
Rather than attacking a disease process, homeopathy helps
activate the healing resources within the clients' body.
For this reason it acts in a deep, powerful, subtle way.
A clients' whole life is likely to improve in ways that
they often do not link to the treatment received, because
the improvements feel so organic, intrinsic, and natural.
The correct remedy will often results in many positive "side
effects," curing a number of seemingly unrelated symptoms
and even sometimes challenging habit patterns, as the client's
system comes into balance. The treatment is safe: A child
could eat an entire bottle of homeopathic medicine and suffer
no ill effects. This book includes some fascinating anecdotes
and examples, and helps readers become intelligent consumers
of homeopathic care.
6. Suggested Music
Chant - The Benedictine Monks of Santo
Domingo De Silos
If you like Gregorian chanting, then you will find
this CD to be tranquil, and uplifting.
7. Our subscribers letters, recommendations, and introductions
The Seishindo Team heartily thanks all
our readers who sent us their kind words and recommendations.
"When I began to meditate at home (and also do some of
Charlie's exercises), I wanted a way to time myself with a chime.
I couldn't find a low cost version, so I created a CD entitled
"Simple Silence". It has 4 tracts (5, 10, 20, and
30 minutes) which begin and end with a lovely chime. In between
is silence. It works beautifully if you have a CD player close
at hand. You can purchase one from me for $10 + $2 s/h.
Sharry Teague, 443 Normal Ave., Ashland, OR, 97520. Call (541)488.8016
if you have questions."
Sharry Teague
"My husband & his son have started a business to supply
plein-air painters. It's called Guerrilla Painter, and the website
is http://www.pochade.com. They actually use painting as a form
of meditation, since it requires one to sit still & pay
close attention. This practice carries over into other areas
of life, and you find yourself appreciating everything around
you. Thanks!"
Sarah Judson
"I would just like you to know how much I appreciate my
first issue of your newsletter. Your explanation of anger cuts
to the heart of the matter with sensitivity, insight, and common
sense. ... Thank you for your wonderful work. I am looking forward
to more issues."
Phyllis Neuschwanger
* * *
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Please include a short write-up (two or three sentences)
about your selections and send all input here.
8. Copyright
Unless otherwise attributed, all material for the newsletter
"Pure Heart, Simple Mind"(tm) is written and edited by Charlie
Badenhop ©. All rights reserved.
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