A concept of "embodied presence"

Serving a community of private individuals and professionals who have the desire to cultivate a life of clarity, compassion, and creativity. We warmly welcome our new subscribers. Thanks for joining! Your feedback is encouraged. Please feel free to contact us.

1. A concept of "embodied presence"

Today I'm once again going to write about the concept of "embodied presence" with the hope of helping you understand how to live your life with greater clarity and happiness.

I will begin this discussion with some definitions.

The term "meta" is a prefix taken from analytic philosophy, meaning "over or above", or "one level of description up from the topic being discussed".
Examples of how "meta" is used as a prefix are:
A "meta-language" is a specialized language used to describe language in general.
A "meta-model" is a model or framework used to study or describe an existing model.
A "metalogue" is a conversational exchange that embodies and offers a clear example of the subject matter being discussed.
If I was teaching the concept of "comedy" in a metalogue fashion, I would be "comical" while doing so.
When what you say and think is consistent with how you use your body, you are engaged in a metalogue. At such times you will express yourself from a perspective of "embodied presence."

When considering the terms "metalogue" and "embodied presence," you might think, "Ah, this is the way I would like to live my life!"
In some instances this would be a great ideal to hold, and yet in other instances this is very much what you would not want to be doing. Let me explain why.

If I was talking to a child about their frequent outbursts of "anger", I would not want to do so while exhibiting an embodied presence of "anger" myself. Why? Because talking to a child in an angry tone of voice about their anger simply leads to the age old comment of "Do as I say and not as I do." Such conversations rarely achieve the results you desire, and the child will most certainly notice that you do not "practice what you preach."

I would suggest that a better way of talking to an angry child would be to tell them what you DO want from them, rather than telling them what you DON'T want. From a place of embodied presence you could engage the child in a metalogue about "supportive critique and compassion," and they would get to experience just that as you discussed their behavior. This style of conversation makes it easier for the child to be willing and able to take in what you have to say and react accordingly.

Now I'm not suggesting that just one such embodied presence conversation will necessarily change the child's behavior. What I am saying is that you'll have a much greater chance of helping the child change their behavior over time, as they experience you offering them a high quality example of how you would like them to be.

If what is described just above seems to make sense in regard to children, why not try the same with yourself? When wanting to change your own behavior, consider using the following two step process to develop the embodied presence that is most likely to help you achieve your goal.

Step 1
Develop a positively oriented intention.
Focus on what you DO want, and not on what you do NOT want.
For instance, rather than thinking about how you no longer want to be "depressed" think instead about how you DO want to be in the world, which you might say is "upbeat and positive."

Step 2
Engage in a metalogue regarding your positively oriented intention.
Do your best to have what you say and think, be consistent with the way you express yourself with your body.
Verbally express your intention to be "upbeat and positive" from a body that is feeling "upbeat and positive."

The above two step process might be easier said than done, but believe me it is one of the best ways to achieve what you truly want in life!

2. Commentary

Over and over again in my private sessions with clients and in the Seishindo workshops, I find that people tend to drift off into a negatively oriented metalogue when discussing how they would like their life to be different.

Person "A" moves into and talks from an embodied presence of "depression" as they discuss how they no longer want to be depressed. Person "B" moves into and talks from an embodied presence of "insecurity" as they discuss their overriding lack of confidence.

At such times people talk about and embody what they do NOT want, rather than talking about and embodying what they DO want.

My task as a facilitator of understanding and change, is to assist my clients in developing a positively oriented intention, and then helping them learn how to fully embody and express such an intention. This is the very same two step process as described above, and it is important to not proceed to Step 2 before completing Step 1.

Over and over again I find it necessary to say to my clients "OK, you have done a good job in clearly explaining to me what you do NOT want. Now please tell me what it is you DO want." Many people discover that they have great difficulty discussing what they DO want, without continuously referring back to what they do NOT want. They feel greatly challenged when striving to develop a desired outcome, which is not influenced by a negatively oriented intention, and this is an important first step in their process of learning and understanding. Indeed, it is sometimes the main "gift" they receive in a session. They come to understand how self defeating it is to focus on the target they do NOT want to hit, rather than focusing on the target they DO want to hit. It is only AFTER they are able to clearly state and focus on their positively oriented intention that they are ready to begin the process of embodying their true heart's desire.

I hope today's newsletter will make the importance of this two step process clear to you, and that you will begin to embody this process of understanding and change in your everyday life.

3. Practice

"I am" - A concept of Time and Identity
This Practice is essential to the process of personal development and very much related to Step 1 as outlined in today's newsletter. Some of you will already be familiar with it as I mention this Practice often, and refer to it as being an important beginning step in almost all change work.