Are you avoiding what you truly want in life?

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1. Are you avoiding what you truly want in life?

I'm guessing you don't enjoy conflict. Am I right?

"Who does?" you might ask.

What's your strategy for avoiding conflict?

Answering this question can yield interesting insights.

While I believe avoiding conflict is a good strategy in general, I've discovered some of my clients get trapped in a default pattern of conflict avoidance. By attempting to avoid all potential conflict, they wind up keeping themselves from getting what they truly want in life. I've also discovered that "avoidance at all costs," is a typical reaction pattern in people that suffer from migraines, fibromyalgia and chronic pain. Let me share with you now, some of the insights I've received from my clients.

A woman came to me some time ago complaining about how unhappy she was. She said "I spend most of my time and energy trying to avoid conflict with others."

In response to what my client had said I asked her, "What do you do in order to avoid conflict?"

Her reply was "I often reflexively say 'Yes' to others regardless of whether or not I agree with what they're saying. I'm afraid of the consequences of saying 'No'."

Next I asked, "By reflexively saying 'Yes' what are you missing out on in your life?"

Her answer came quickly "I miss out on connecting with my truth, and respecting my own point of view. By attempting to please others, I invariably neglect pleasing myself, and I often wind up feeling inconsequential. In fact, as I think about this now, by rarely saying anything I think might displease others, it makes it impossible for people to really know me and I wind up feeling lonely and confused!"

After a bit more conversation I asked my client what it is she truly wanted in her life. She took a deep breath, gazed out into space for a while, and then said the following, "I deeply want a relationship where I feel safe to share my hopes and fears, my dreams and desires. I realize now, that by attempting to avoid conflict I am avoiding the possibility of getting hurt. By avoiding getting hurt, I'm avoiding getting close to others. And this sense of being close is exactly what I desire!"

When I asked her if she had any physical complaints that might be related to our conversation, she told me she suffered from migraine headaches. Then, all of a sudden she looked surprised and teary eyed and said,

"When I get migraines, my head and stomach are engaged in the conflict I'm afraid to have with others. I'm frustrating the hell out of myself!"

Do these words about "avoidance" speak to you at all?

One of the main reasons avoidance strategies rarely work the way we'd like, is because we wind up not having a positively oriented goal to work towards. Desiring "A heartfelt relationship." is very different than "Attempting to avoid a conflictive relationship" A heartfelt relationship is something most any person would like to move towards, and chances are you can visualize such a relationship in your mind's eye. A "conflictive relationship" on the other hand is something most folks would like to move away from. Avoidance strategies tend to leave you with no positive image or clear goal to focus on. The more time and energy you expend keeping yourself away from what you don't want, the less time and energy you'll have to pursue your dreams.

If you take a loving look at yourself, you just might find that conflict resides in you much more than it resides in your relationships.

Please consider...
How are your avoidance strategies keeping you from getting what you really want in life?

2. Resources for sufferers of migraine headaches, fibromyalgia and other forms of chronic pain

If you or someone you care about suffers with intense pain, there can be light at the end of the tunnel. For a number of years now I've been working to help people recover from debilitating pain.

Recently my colleague Marleen Adriaensen and I have been teaching a workshop entitled "Finding Inner Peace -- Exploring the body language of migraine headaches and chronic pain." Marleen suffered with migraine headaches for more than 25 years. She overcame her condition by engaging in Seishindo Practices, private sessions, bodywork, and workshops, and you can do the same! In this workshop Marleen will share her healing journey, and together we'll help you find your own path of healing and personal fulfillment.

Here's what a recent workshop participant had to say:
"Out of a deep sense of thanks for what I've received and a desire to help fellow sufferers, I write the following: I've had migraines and fibromyalgia for years. I took pills, talked to doctors, and tried lots of different remedies, but the pain just got worse. As a last resort I took the Seishindo "Finding Inner Peace" workshop on October 30, 2006, and I am feeling blessed for having done so! It's been several weeks now and I continue to feel better each day. No more pain pills because I don't hurt as much and believe it or not, my vision has also improved!
Charlie and Marleen gave me tools to work with on my own, so I have a sense that I will continue to get better. I learned that my pain is a gift and my emotional well-being is key to how I deal with that gift.

Charlie and Marleen's knowledge of body language and the emotional causes of pain, gave me a new way to think about myself and my suffering. Their bodywork is perhaps the crown jewel of their work though. It is gentle, intense, sensitive, and profound. The pain of my migraine was significantly lessened within a half hour of them working on me. Believe me, such results are MUCH more than I was expecting. Frankly, the results were more than I had been hoping for! Now I have learned to hope for more in the future. That in itself is a gift.

I heartily recommend Charlie and Marleen's work to everyone. If you are ready to begin to live a much healthier life, free from the burden of chronic pain, then you will find their work to be a wonderful, wonderful gift."
Shelley Kaufman-Young

We have two workshops scheduled for the near future. One in Antwerp Belgium and one in Washington DC.
Here are the links:
For January 20, 2007 Belgium
http://www.seishindo.org/workshops/2007/migraines.html
For February 12, 2007 Washington DC
http://www.seishindo.org/workshops/2007/migraines-dc.html

If you're unable to attend a workshop or in-person private session, we can help you to get started on your healing path by advising you via several phone sessions. We can discuss lifestyle changes, dietary concerns, possible supplements to take, and we can introduce you to some specific Seishindo Practices that can help. Of course if you are local to either Antwerp or Tokyo Marleen and I are available for bodywork sessions. If you would like to find out more you can email me at charlie@seshindo.org or you can contact Marleen at marleen@seishindo.org.

If you're suffering from intense pain, I promise you that you're capable of making the life changes you desire.

One further piece of information:
In July of this year I wrote a newsletter entitled "The somatic self, pain, and suffering." If you suffer from intense pain you might want to revisit this article by going here:
http://www.seishindo.org/newsletter/2006/13-somatic-self-pain-suffering.html

3. TWO Upcoming Seishindo Teleclasses

Six Session Introductory Telecourse:
EMBODIED PRESENCE--
Walking in the world with grace and power
with Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo
Feb. 19, 26, March 5, 12, 19, 26, 2007 (all Tuesdays)

What will you learn in this Six Session Introductory course?

You'll gain an understanding of the subtle yet powerful communication of your body language
You'll learn how to communicate more, by speaking less
You'll discover how to use your body and your breath to create different emotional states
You'll be introduced to a process for releasing excess energy trapped in your body and transmuting it into a heartfelt charisma.

Supplementing the strategies of your rational mind with the age old wisdom of your body, gives you the opportunity to walk in the world with grace and power. The opportunity to live more fully, in a state of embodied presence.

This Six Session Introductory Course is a good fit for you if you'd like to:

Engage the world with greater enthusiasm, creativity, and joy
Interact with people in a more heartfelt manner
Live a healthier more emotionally balanced life
Feel more at home in your body

In order to maximize your experience, we will limit each class to 6 participants. This is a much smaller class size that what is offered by most other programs. Cost: $290 for the complete series.

Each session will be recorded and available on MP3 for your download and private use. If you have to miss a class you'll have a complete transcript to listen to and learn from.

Your satisfaction is of utmost importance to us. If you are not fully satisfied we will quickly refund the unused portion of your tuition.

If you want to live a healthier more emotionally balanced life, and to find out about the details, please use this link:
http://www.seishindo.org/teleclasses/2007/body-language0203.html

Six Session Introductory Telecourse:
"Talk" to the body and change the emotions --
Somatic Coaching Skills for Coaches
with Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo
March 1, 8, 15. 22. 29; April 5, 2007

If you're a coach that wants to make a real difference in the world I'd love to help you reach your true potential.

Do you find yourself getting stuck with certain clients without really understanding why?

Have you discovered that helping people change the way they think is often not enough to change the deep seated emotions that drive their behavior?

I promise you can be more confident and effective, if you take the time to learn how the body drives people’s emotions, and thus their behavior.

In this six session teleclass series we'll explore how to meld the wisdom of the intellect with the wisdom of the body so that you and your clients get the results you both desire. Along the way you'll also pick up some new tools to put in your coaching toolbox.

To find out more about this telecourse for coaches, please use this link:
http://www.seishindo.org/teleclasses/2007/somatic-coaching.html

4. Upcoming Seishindo Workshops

Click on the event's title to find out about the details
When?	Where?	Workshop/Event & Presenter(s)
November 18, 2006 13:00-17:00	Tokyo, Japan	Seishindo Somatic Coaching Workshop
January 18, 2007 19:30 - 23:00	Antwerpen, Belgium	Introducing Seishindo - The role your body plays in helping you to maintain your health and emotional well-being Charlie Badenhop, Originator of Seishindo Info in Dutch
January 20, 2007, 9:30 - 17:30	Antwerpen, Belgium	Finding Inner Peace - Exploring the body language of migraine headaches and chronic pain Charlie Badenhop, Marleen Adriaensen Info in Dutch
January 26-27-28, 2007 9:30-17:30	Antwerpen, Belgium	EMBODIED WISDOM - The Dance of Intellect, Intuition, and Emotion Judith DeLozier, Co-Founder of NLP Charlie Badenhop, Originator of Seishindo Info in Dutch in French
February 6, 2007 19.00-21.00	Merrifield, VA	Aikido - A martial art of life Charlie Badenhop
February 9-10-11, 2007 9:30-17:30	Washington, DC, USA	EMBODIED PRESENCE - Use "Everyday Aikido" to resolve conflict and build relationships Charlie Badenhop and Dorothy Pietracatella
February 12, 2007 9:30-17:30	Washington, DC, USA	Finding Inner Peace - Exploring the body language of migraine headaches and chronic pain Charlie Badenhop, Marleen Adriaensen
Every third Saturday of the month 14:00–17:00	Antwerpen, Belgium	Seishindo Study Group in Belgium Marleen Adriaensen Info in Dutch in French

5. In-person and phone sessions with Charlie

If you appreciate what I share with you in my newsletter, chances are you'll find value in working with me privately.

Would you like to experience a greater sense of well-being and fulfillment in your life, but have yet to find a method that works for you?

Have you discovered that simply talking about your challenges is not enough to change the deep seated emotions that drive your behavior?

Seishindo is unique, because it draws on the mind-body principles of Aikido, Sei tai, NLP, bodywork, and somatic psychology.

With Seishindo private sessions you can learn to meld the wisdom of your intellect with the wisdom of your body, so that what you think and feel matches your true heart's desire.

• Explore core issues, such as your current identity, health, or destructive habit patterns,
• Feel more fully alive and emotionally balanced,
• Explore the direction of your professional or personal life.

  Phone sessions are available year round, for people living most anywhere in the world.

If you'd like to consider working with me privately, you can email me. Once we're in contact we can set up a time for a complementary phone conversation where you can get a better feel for who I am and how you can benefit from working with me. And no worries, I will not try and talk you into a session! You will know what is best for you.

I look forward to hearing from you!
charlie@seishindo.org

I'll be available in Antwerpen, Belgium on January 22, 23, 24 2007, and in Washington, DC on February 13, 14, 15.

Tokyo, Japan:
In person sessions are available year round, for those living in or visiting Japan.

Read more about how you can benefit from a Seishindo private session.

Read what other people say about Seishindo sessions.

If you think you might be interested in a private session, please contact Charlie directly at charlie@seishindo.org.