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1. Engaging all the 'I's that make
up 'You'
Most of us have certain issues in our life we'd love to better
understand or change, but we don't know how.
One of the most common issues new clients bring to me is the
desire to lose weight, so let me use this as a talking point
today. Hopefully what I write will give you some insight into
your own life.
There's usually more than one "I" involved
in deciding what you want and need
There's a part of "I" that wants to change, and there's a part
of "I" that resists change, or at the very least, has no idea
how to carry out the change "I" desire. As obvious as this
might be to you at this point, most of us have no idea how
to get beyond this seeming barrier. As a client once said to
me as she pointed at herself, "What we have here, is a failure
to communicate!" This is an important issue that needs to be
addressed right at the beginning of any change process.
The reasons for not being able to lose weight when that's
exactly what "I" want to do, can be many.
A few examples follow:
A. "I" want to lose weight, but if anything "I" am
gaining ever so much.
You will do well to have your metabolism and pH checked, and
also find out which foods are not well suited to your blood
type, before proceeding further.
B. "I" want to lose weight, but "I" am
failing miserably.
You might do well to realize that "eating" is the only "pleasure" activity
you have in your life. Without creating other, healthier ways
to experience pleasure, it's almost certain you won't cut back
on your eating.
C. "I" want to lose weight but can't
seem to get beneath a certain threshold.
It might just be your genetic make-up makes it highly unlikely
you'll ever look like the models in magazine ads.
D. "I" want to lose weight but if
anything "I" am eating more.
You might do well to delve deeper and see that you eat excessively
as a way to combat stress.
E. "I" want to lose weight, but
at some point "I" realize my extra weight keeps me
away from engaging in activities or relationships "I" have
little confidence in.
When you find yourself stuck and unable to accomplish the
change one part of your "I" wants, you'll do well to discover
the other parts of "I" not being "listened to", understood,
respected, and attended to. Expand your concept of "I" until
you meet, engage, and satisfy any and all of the parts resisting.
Once you accomplish this, you'll find you're better able to
understand yourself and achieve a more fulfilling life.
When you engage, respect, and attend to your whole self you'll
discover a magical moment when your entire self says "Yes" to
the change process you are wanting to engage in. At such times
all resistance dissolves and you'll find yourself feeling more
empowered and at peace with yourself. Along the way, you might
just find your initial goal changes. If so, this will be just
perfect.
If you're currently unable to achieve the goals "You" desire,
find someone to help you better understand how to engage your
entire self in the process of change. It's not a case of requiring
more discipline, or being lazy. The issue at hand is making
sure you're engaging all the "I"s that make up "You".
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