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1. Starting Line

About a year ago I was giving a demonstration of how I facilitate postural adjustments with clients. At the end of the demo a woman in the audience said: "I really loved watching what you do, and it was so obvious that you have worked with animals in the past. Can you please tell us more about your training?" I saw a look of confusion on some of the faces in the audience, but I was very pleased by what the lady had to say. I have learned a good deal about working with people, by the years I spent learning how to train dogs.

As a young boy I had the opportunity to train with a man who was a master at "obedience" and guard dog training. On my first day of study he took me to an industrial site. Behind the fence of one warehouse yard was a madly barking dog who seemed intent at ripping us to pieces. My teacher handed me the keys to the fence lock and said "This is the first time I have seen this dog, and I have been asked to tame him down some. Open the gate and let the dog loose." I immediately started to think that raising tropical fish would be a better hobby than training dogs.
"I am new to all of this." I said, "Why don't you open the gate and show me how to do it?"
"I tell you what" he said, "Either I kneel down about ten feet from the gate and you swing the gate open so the dog cannot get to you, or we will do it the other way around, with you kneeling down out in the open." It didn't take me long to start putting the key in the lock, as my teacher moved to an open space and knelt down.

Low and behold, the dog raced out, seeming to ignore my teacher on the one hand, but running around in large loping circles that my teacher was the center of. My teacher was calm and slow to move, and eventually he reached in his pocket and pulled out some doggie treats. Within a minute or two he literally had the dog eating out of his hand.

"The lesson is," he said, "Every dog that's been trained in a violent manner barks and growls and appears to be genuinely mean when they are behind the fence. All the dog is really doing is showing you how frightened he is. The dog is expecting to be mistreated by you just as he has been mistreated by his trainer, and thus he is simply trying to protect himself and not the premises. When you open the gate on such dogs they invariably run out of the yard. Mistreated animals have no real 'home' to protect because there is nowhere in the world where they feel safe, loved, and protected. If your dog does not feel protected BY you, he will not protect FOR you."
Intuitively this made a lot of sense. I thought back on the kids that were the most violent in my high school. The ones from my neighborhood, I knew came from violent families. Their outward violence in school was actually a preemptive strike. Just like the mistreated guard dog, these kids were expecting to get mistreated by others, and thus they went into attack mode as a confused form of self defense, NOT as a form of offense.
"The louder the dog barks," my teacher said, "The more frightened he is. The primary identity of a beaten dog is one of fear."

2. Main course

When you are feeling misunderstood or at risk in a relationship with another person, or when you are having difficulty understanding your own behavior, it is suggested that you pause, take a deep breath, release any excess tension, and ponder this question: "What is the primary identity being expressed here?" Asking this question will help you to have better appreciation and understanding, for how to respond. When we ponder the catalyst for behavior it is common to discover that a problematic behavior is usually generated by a primary identity of fear, isolation, or lack of abundance. The barking guard dog lunging at passers-by is considered mean and violent, when indeed the dog is trying to protect itself from further mistreatment. The primary identity of the dog is one of fear. The same can be seen and understood in human beings. Aggressive and or violent people are expecting attacks from others, and they therefore often mount attacks on others in a confused attempt to protect themselves. Each time the forceful behavior of a frightened person draws a violent response, the person feels as if their "defensive" behavior has been vindicated. Violent responses from others feed a person's primary identity of fear.

The concept of "primary identity" or what we sometimes call "core identity" is an important part of the philosophy of Aikido. In Aikido we believe that when a person is spiritually, emotionally, and physically balanced they will experience their "true" primary identity. This is an identity in which they feel connected to their emotions and their body, supported by others, and protected by the benevolent presence of Spirit/God/"The Force." I know to many this might seem like a notion that is meant only for dreamers, and not for those that actually have to be active participants in the world, but indeed it forms the basis for a highly effective and pragmatic martial art.

Aikido is not suggesting that we should trust the ethics and honesty of everyone in every occasion. What Aikido IS saying is that a person who attacks another human being is a person who is disconnected from their "true" primary identity, and is thus reacting from a perspective of fear, isolation, and or a believed dearth of resources. The best way to "counter" such an attack is to remain aware, relaxed, and emotionally balanced, while also being concerned for and connected to the well being of your seeming adversary. We are meant to inhale the "true" primary identity of our counterpart, and exhale our connection to them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Aikido experience shows us that our feeling of connection and caring for our counterpart is definitely felt by them on a somatic/unconscious level. When "the attacker's" feeling mind is touched by a benevolent presence they subconsciously realize that danger is not immanent, and thus their fear and their need for attack, is lessened.

I can say from my twenty plus years of Aikido practice, that responding to aggressive fear with connection and calmness, is a very transformative experience for both parties involved. There is something so special about being in a highly challenging situation, and "poof" prior to thinking you find yourself taking a deep breath, and feeling your muscles respond by relaxing. You notice that your eyes soften ever so much, and that the sounds in the space somehow become more mellow. At the very least, you notice your counterpart becomes somewhat confused, because you are "replying" to their aggression by embracing and absorbing what they are putting forth, rather than by mounting a counterattack. Such interactions sear the memory of my soul, and give me greater faith in life.

The next time you meet someone with a guard dog mentality what will you do?

Keep them barking and lunging behind their self imposed fence? Or let that out to play, so that you can eventually become friends?

3. Practice: "Standing in "hanmi"

Today's Practice is "Standing in hanmi".
This is a basic activity taken from Aikido and further elaborated on for our purposes in Seishindo. Performing this Practice from time to time will give you an active experience developing a calm presence. When you are feeling fully present you will notice that your thinking mind and your feeling mind are both calm, yet active.

In the beginning you might find that doing this Practice leads you to understand just how fluid and perhaps unstable in some regards, your overall sense of presence is. Although you might not love this experience right from the very first, if you stick with it you will find that this simple Practice can be highly rewarding.

This Practice is a primary part of the process that I teach to people wanting to excel at leadership and public speaking.

4. Links

Mindbodyspirit: http://www.mindbodyspirit.com.au

This site is an Internet "Magazine" with 2500 Australasian Personal Development items, an Internet Links Directory of Articles, Courses, and Book Summaries, and a Book Shop of over 140,000 items. The site also houses a noticeboard and some services for writers and publishers. Mindbodyspirit is a major supporter of Seishindo as they have published many of my articles, and lots of their clients wind up visiting us. When it comes to "Personal Development" and related esoteric topics, this site is a real treasure house.

This site also houses a lot of important information about aborigines.
Please have a look.

5. Suggested Books by Cindy Franklin

"Uncommon Therapy" by Jay Haley
My copy of "Uncommon Therapy" by Jay Haley states on the cover, "a casebook of an innovative psychiatrist's work in short term therapy." The psychiatrist in question is the legendary Milton Erickson, whose work and approach influences Seishindo, SR and NLP. The "case histories" are thoroughly delightful tales of this strange, humorous, deeply wise and kind man's work. Whether you read this book to learn from descriptions of a master healer at work, to understand more about being human, or simply for the sheer joy and fascination of reading these tales, you will not be disappointed.

6. Suggested Music

CD: "Live in Paris" Diana Krall
This woman has grabbed ahold of my ears and won't let go! If you like "classic" jazz, then you will likely find this piano playing vocalist to be sublime. I am a totally new to her music, and the album I am suggesting here, is simply one that was given to me by my friend Dave. I checked on Amazon and it seems that people are in love with just about everything she has put out. Simple energetic piano stylings, a husky voice that cuts to the bone, and a great band backing her up. This lady is quite a treat!

7. Endnote and Invitation

We always invite people to offer us their experience in regard to what they read in the newsletters. We publish people's responses regardless of whether or not they "agree" with our opinions or the concept we had in mind when creating a particular piece. Please send us your thoughts and experiences. Email us at seishin@seishindo.org.

Sylvia Golbin is a long time supporter of Seishindo. Here is her offering:
"Thank you for the great story from Tibet. It illustrates so clearly how people can misuse and misunderstand concepts like Karma. The man who only gave a penny to the beggar was, in fact, assuring his own poverty. Everyone we meet is part of us and by definition our karma is intertwined with theirs. Perhaps the beggar with the clear eyes was offering your friend an opportunity to repay a karmic debt? On the other hand, your generous response to the woman who could not see or hear may have helped to open your own eyes and ears. In any case, my understanding of charity is that it is always returned ten fold. So, thank you for your great stories and keep them coming!"

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Community building
If you are reading our newsletter and you have a website of your own, then send our webmaster and site co-developer Inessa at inessa@seishindo.org the URL and a three or four sentence description of your site or service, and we will place it in a special subscribers section for all who visit our site to read. Welcome!

8. Milestones

Cathy Bernatt is a friend of Seishindo and she is ecstatic to announce that she has just received her Masters of Arts in Leadership Studies from Azusa Pacific University. Congratulations Cathy!

Cathy writes and says:
I remember when I graduated with my B.A. in philosophy and people would ask me what I was going to do with that? I would reply, "I am going to find the perfect oak tree, then sit down and meditate until I can find enlightenment." That usually kept them moving at a rapid pace after cocking their heads sideways as a dog does, when they can't quite grasp your take on reality. That was 20 years ago. Today, if people ask me what I intend to do with my Masters of Arts in Leadership, I would say,

"Do all the good I can
By all the means I can
In all the ways I can
In all the places I can
At all the times I can
To all the people I can
As long as I ever can!"

(Adapted from John Wesley)

9. Copyright

Unless otherwise attributed, all material for the newsletter "Pure Heart, Simple Mind"(tm) is written and edited by Charlie Badenhop ©. All rights reserved.

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