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Serving a community of private individuals and professionals
who have the desire to cultivate a life of clarity, compassion,
and creativity. Your feedback is encouraged. Please
contact us at seishindo@seishindo.org.
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Workshop Announcement
This workshop will offer you significant value if...
You are a therapist, coach, social worker, physical
therapist, consultant, or bodyworker, looking to
add to your current professional skills.
You are a spouse that would like to better understand
your partner.
You want to live your life with a greater sense
of vitality and passion.
You want to understand how to enter into fulfilling
personal relationships.
You are a parent that would like to understand how
to better nurture your children.
You are an individual yearning to join a warm spiritual
community of life long learners.
Learn how to identify and shift the somatic underpinnings
of limiting beliefs, health concerns, and debilitating
habits.
Please click on the title to find out more.
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1. Starting Line
Although many human beings might feel miffed by the thought,
there is a profound set of similarities amongst all mammals,
and especially between dogs and humans.
Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about yourself
sometimes depends on whether or not you get an external confirmation
of your value? The same is true for dogs. Dogs and humans
both have a "primary identity" that determines perception
of the world, behavior, and one’s sense of self worth.
Let me explain how my teacher nurtured a positive primary
identity in the dogs he trained.
My teacher's first rule was to "Treat
your students with firm yet gentle kindness and endless patience."
No matter what the dog did (especially with puppies) he would
calmly and gently, without any trace of annoyance, let them
know when their behavior was not what he wanted.
His second rule was "Consistently
foster and support a primary identity of love, acceptance,
and protection." My teacher used to say,
"Never tell the dog that s/he is "bad" or "stupid".
If you tell your dog he is bad, he will start to feel bad.
Once your dog is feeling bad, he will start to act bad. And
all the dog will really be doing, is confirming what you have
been telling him!" "Don't confuse the primary identity
of the dog, with the dog's behavior. No matter what happens,
your dog is a "good dog." And sometimes your "good
dog" will have lousy behavior. "Good boy, good dog,
don't gnaw on the table leg." "Good boy, good dog,
don't you dare lift your leg on those curtains!" "No
matter what happens, it is very important for your dog to
know that his primary identity never changes, regardless of
his behavior." "If you think in terms of "good
dog" now "bad dog" later, your affection for
your dog will change like the weather and he will become confused,
and not know who he really is."
The third important rule in dog training is to "Teach
by example."
If you want your dog to be strong and calm, then you must
be strong and calm in your dealings with him. If you want
the dog to love you and live for the opportunity to protect
you, then you need to teach love by example. You don't ask
the dog to love you, you don't expect the dog to love you
just because you feed him and give him shelter. The dog winds
up loving you as a natural reaction to your love for him.
The dog comes to understand his own heart, through the experience
of your heart.
The fourth rule he called "The
length of the leash."
In the beginning, it is very important to not let the leash
be either too short and restrictive, or too long and overly
allowing. You need to be able to gauge and sense the dogs
understanding of what you would like him to do, in relation
to what he would like to be doing, at any given moment. Too
restrictive and the dog feels coerced. Too loose and the dog
has no idea what you want. And it is important to occasionally
let the dog do what HE wants to do, even when this is somewhat
counter to what you would like him to do. This is crucial
to building relationship. In the end, you want to take off
the leash completely, and let the dog be, with his own sense
of right and wrong.
2. Main course
The meaning of any act or verbal communication, can only
be fully understood by taking into account the specific context
that such behaviors are performed in. Does this make clear
sense? If we take the phrase "I love you." the meaning
of these words will vary greatly depending on whether I speak
them to my wife, my daughter, my parents, or the woman that
lives next door. If I stand up and start undressing in my
bedroom, this will be considered completely normal behavior.
If on the other hand I stand up and undress in front of the
crowd during the Rugby World Cup, I am likely to be arrested
and escorted away. The act of "undressing" has no
clear meaning, unless we identify the location/environment/context,
where the undressing is done.
Our "primary identity" on the other hand, is considered
to be the identity we have regardless of the context we are
in. It is the identity that we carry with us everywhere. Our
primary identity doesn't change with the weather, and it doesn't
change depending on praise, criticism, or being ignored. When
you can bring a self affirming primary identity with you as
you enter into various new and challenging situations in life,
you will discover that you live with a greater sense of enjoyment
and fulfillment.
My dog training teacher had a very fascinating way of helping
the guard dogs he trained, to feel respected, protected and
loved, regardless of the situation/context they were in. Here
is how he accomplished this. First of course, he started out
by treating his dogs with love and respect, and by showing
them an infinite amount of patience as they were learning.
This of course is crucial. Then, the next thing he did was
a true stroke of genius. He would cut a small piece of carpet
for each dog he trained. He would place the carpet in the
dog's sleeping area, for him to lie on each night. He would
also take this carpet during the day and set it down in various
locations, and sit the dog on the carpet, as he praised the
dog for being good. Whenever he moved to a new location, he
would have the dog stand up, and he would pick up the carpet
and carry it to the new location, set it down, sit the dog
down, and again, praise the dog for being a "good boy."
Soon the piece of carpet took on the distinct odor of the
dog, and my teacher said that this led the dog to feel "at
home" when sitting on the carpet. Next, my teacher would
teach the dog to pick up the piece of carpet himself, and
carry it to wherever they were going. The dog would then set
the piece of carpet down when they stopped, and sit on top
of it, with my teacher all of the time praising him for being
a good dog. Now my teacher said, "The dog begins to feel
that he truly belongs in every place that he travels to, and
no matter where he goes, he receives my love and appreciation.
Soon the dog takes on this love and appreciation as the core
of his primary identity."
And I ask you now, if this strategy works so brilliantly
with dogs, would the same basic strategy not work just as
well with human beings? Ask youself, "What is the small
piece of carpet you carry around with you wherever you go?"
"Would your life not be very different if you changed
your piece of carpet to one of love and appreciation?"
3. Practice
Today's Practice is "Jazz
Chanting".
It is a fairly new Seishindo Practice and my clients and
myself have been finding it to be particularly enjoyable and
effective in helping to bring about a change in the way we
approach what we perceive to be "problems."
Please do let us know about your experience with "Jazz
Chanting."
4. Links
Answer Within: http://www.answerwithin.com
Carol Lankton's work and website promote the belief that
all human beings have a profound potential within themselves.
The therapy services, presentations, training, consultation,
and books endorsed on this site are dedicated to eliciting
this inner wisdom and facilitating its association to identified
goal contexts that enhance optimal balance of mind, body,
and spirit. Carol is a well known and respected therapist
and author, with a rich professional history. Everything
she does is truly high quality.
5. Suggested Books by Cindy Franklin
"The Heart of Meditation:
pathways to deeper experience"
by Swami Durganada
This book is both for beginning meditators and for those with
mature practices who are ready to approach the process anew
and rediscover its endless gifts of peace, wisdom and intoxication.
It is a book about the delights and trials of learning to
fall more deeply into the love that is our original nature,
through dancing with our own minds in all of their seasons
and moods. It is a book about learning how to drop into our
own beings in an infinite number of ways, and recognizing
and entering the many hidden doorways to the heart that exist
within and all around us. The book is practical, subtle, playful
and wise. I feel that if Milton Erickson were to recommend
a book on meditation, this would be it.
6. Suggested Music
CD: Lama Gyurme and Jean-Phillippe Ryklel "Rain of Blessing"
This CD offers great ambient groove music. It is a collaboration
between a Tibetan monk who does some powerful chanting and
a French musician, who moves the chanting into a Western
context.
There is a Seishindo story behind this CD. Back around
five years or so ago, I had just started to use music in
my workshops, and in fact I was only using a total of about
six separate cuts. One weekend in New York City, we were
doing a workshop in a space that had numerous other meeting
rooms separated by very thin walls. On Sunday morning, in
one of the room’s next to us there was a Bible thumping
rip roaring service going on for an hour and a half, which
made it very challenging for me to continue teaching. Mercifully
the service stopped before noon, and there was silence after
that. And then in the late afternoon, a lovely and mysterious
sound started emanating from the same nearby room. I said
to my friend Cindy, "You have to find out what they
are playing over there!" It turned out to be "Rain
of Blessing" and Cindy immediately bought me a copy.
I have been using it ever since.
7. Endnote and Invitation
I am very pleased to announce that we had a large influx
of Arabic speaking people coming to our website this month.
This is quite exciting for myself and my webmaster and colleague
Inessa! It is a thrill for us to reach various cultural groups
from around the world. I would be very curious to know how
our work "translates" into Arabic culture. I would
love to hear from some of our new found Arabic friends.
Please drop us a line at seishindo@seishindo.org.
* * *
We always invite people to offer us their experience in regard
to what they read in the newsletters. We publish people's
responses regardless of whether or not they "agree"
with our opinions or the concept we had in mind when creating
a particular piece. Please send us your thoughts and experiences.
Email us at seishindo@seishindo.org.
* * *
Community building
If you are reading our newsletter and you have a website of
your own, then send your URL to our webmaster and site developer
Inessa at inessa@seishindo.org Along with the URL, send us
a three or four sentence description of your site or service,
and we will place it in a special subscribers "Links"
section for all who visit our site to read. Welcome!
8. Milestones
My daughter Marina was nine years old recently, and she
also recently passed her 9th Kyu examination in "Yoshinkan"
which is one of the earliest forms of Aikido. "Omedeto!"
Mari-chan!
9. Copyright
Unless otherwise attributed, all material for the newsletter
"Pure Heart, Simple Mind"(tm) is written and edited by
Charlie Badenhop ©. All rights reserved.
You may reprint, copy, or distribute "Pure Heart, Simple
Mind” (tm) provided you: a. Receive our written permission
(which is likely). b. Attach the above copyright notice
to our material. c. Do not sell our material to others.
d. Keep the content of our material intact without any
editing whatsoever.
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