At the end of every year, I take the time to reflect on the
last twelve months and give thanks to all those who have helped
to nurture me along the away. Taking the time to be thankful
is an important way for me to keep my life in perspective. Especially
at times when things appear to not be going as well as I had
hoped for.
This year is no exception. Lots of wonderful things took place,
along with some stuff that did not go the way I was initially
expecting and hoping for. I am thankful for ALL of it!
This year I learned an important lesson in regard to saying
"Thank you". I realized that although I am indeed
thankful when people treat me kindly, for some reason I have
difficulty in thanking those that are close to me. Perhaps this
is true for you as well? Somehow for me, it sometimes seems
like "too much" to express the thankfulness I am feeling,
and thus I wind up running away from my awkward discomfort by
saying nothing. Understanding this has been an important lesson
for me, and I have been doing my best to stay attentive to thanking
those that are close to me. Interesting to discover and understand
how we sometimes express the opposite of what we are feeling.
I want to thank Dorothy, Inessa, Marleen, Lisa, Drew, Wendy,
Patrick, Danielle, Connie, Diane, Tony, Tsutomu, and everyone
else that helped support me and Seishindo in the past year.
Without your caring support, not only would many Seishindo activities
soon cease to exist, but my life in general would be a hell
of a lot less fulfilling as well.
I want to also thank all of you who receive the Seishindo newsletter,
and especially those of you who wrote in during the year to
express appreciation for the newsletter. Believe me, your encouragement
is VERY much appreciated!
Here is a recent thank you note that touched my heart. It symbolizes
the many wonderful notes that were sent to me over the course
of the year.
"Charlie, what I appreciate with all of your writing,
is that from beginning to end your work is immediately applicable.
What you write about is real and not sophistry. I can read your
philosophy between the lines but your words offer concrete examples
I can actually use. You paint a picture I can see as I look
from your vantage point, rather than an image that I look at
as an outside observer. You also show me the realty around me,
and draw me into the picture. Your ideas catch my mind's eye
and create a reality that your vision and my vision have formed
together, producing a wonderful synergy with your reader."
Gordon Jolley
(Gordon is a long time supporter and friend of Seishindo. He
is a talented consultant that has been living in Tokyo for quite
some time now.)
Last, but not at all least, here is a very special thank you
I received recently from a friend of Seishindo.
Recently he had an eye operation to clear up a long standing
problem with his vision. Below is what he wrote as a response
to his experience. I believe it very nicely expresses much of
the sentiments of Seishindo. In reading what he wrote and helping
with the editing, I felt honored to have been his teacher over
the last several years. Editing this piece also led me to reflect
on the many blessings I receive from all of my students, both
here and abroad.
Thanks to all of you for teaching me so much about life! What
I learn from you helps me to be a more compassionate human being,
and a better teacher.
2. Return From The Sea of Light
By Tsutomu Shimoozaki
Edited by Charlie Badenhop
A few hours before,
Believing the operation will be brief and straightforward,
I felt courageous and calm.
But in this moment, laying on the operating table,
Blinded by the intense light that streams into my right eye,
My brain and my breathing having both stopped,
All of my previous bravado is useless.
I feel great fear
And a tsunami wave of anger
Laying here helpless.
No way to escape,
Overwhelmed by the invasive nature of the treatment,
Cursing the people and chain of events that brought me here.
Anger and fear engulf me,
Like the doctor's light shining down from overhead,
That enters my right eye and travels so deeply,
It touches my soul.
As "I" dissolve,
And drift away,
And back again.
I don't know how much time passes.
But at some point I realize I've begun to breath again,
Without any intention.
Both my fear and my anger have subsided,
Like an ebb tide moving out to sea,
Moving away from me.
My emotions come and go, just like my sense of "I".
Hearing in the distance,
The sound of the monitoring machine calling out the cadence
of my heartbeat.
"Ba bum, ba boom, ba bum, ba boom."
Over and over and over again.
It is MY heartbeat we are all hearing.
It is MY heartbeat that orchestrates the rhythm in the room,
And lets me know that indeed "I" am still here.
I realize that if I die,
I certainly will come back again into the ordinary world.
Because, as with all life,
My life will lead to death,
And my death will lead back again to life.
Circular and continuous,
Just as my inhale leads back again to an exhale.
The unimpeded circular flow of breath gives flight to my spirit.
And frees me to be.
Breathing deeply,
I inhale fear and anger.
Breathing deeply,
I exhale peace of mind,
And expand this feeling to all of the hospital staff around
me.
If I stay present in this moment,
And feel the music being made by the interplay of my heartbeat
and my breath,
I realize that I AM the music!
My frozen muscles release,
My spirit soars,
My fear and anger dissolve,
Into all the emotions of the rainbow.
Instead of attempting to avoid the terrible things I imagine,
I focus my attention on NOW.
The present moment almost always being much less traumatic,
Than the life I construct inside my head.
All of this being much like my experience when Charlie pushes
on my body as I lay on his massage table.
I feel ticklish and freeze up.
Stiffen my muscles.
And stop breathing.
Until sooner or later,
With Charlie's hands strongly yet gently communicating to
me,
I sense it is safe to finally,
Release the defensive structure of my tense muscles,
And heed my body's call for oxygen,
Breathing deeply,
My body and my soul surrender to the need that every human
being has,
To be touched, and loved.
To be healed.
Now, with normal vision restored,
I am thankful for the gifted, caring doctors and staff that
worked with me.
Now, with normal vision restored,
I can understand that what I see in the external world around
me,
Is the product of the internal vision I construct inside myself.
Knowing full well that even my current clear vision,
Is a mental and emotional construct.
I feel myself immersed in a sea of light,
A sea of love.
3. Practice -
"Celebrating a Thank You Day"
1. At the very beginning of
the day, acknowledge that you do not understand what would
be the best possible way for your life to unfold.
If you are older than sixteen or so, this should be easy enough
to understand and acknowledge.
At the very least I hope you will be able to realize that
MUCH of what has taken place in your life, is well beyond
the scope of what you thought would happen.
2. Take a moment or two and think
about at least one incident in your life that you initially
thought was disastrous, that actually turned out to be a great
learning experience or opportunity to further excel.
In other words, "Realize that circumstances are often
not what they initially appear to be."
If you need any help here you can look back on
our recent story of my friend missing his ride up to the
ski lodge, only to later discover that everyone in the car
that he didn't connect with got killed in an avalanche.
3. Go ahead and surrender to
the obvious. YOU are not the master of your fate.
Understanding this important truth, set the task for yourself
of saying "Thank you" for everything that takes
place today.
After all, if you have done the two steps above, you are already
realizing you do not understand the best possible way for
your life to unfold, and circumstances are often not what
they seem.
That's about it!
Here is how this Practice looks in real life.
You get up to go to work, and you drop the only egg left in
the house, that you were planning on eating for breakfast.
What is your reaction?
"Thank you Lord, I couldn't have done that on my own!"
Next, you run out of the house, and as you ride your bike
to the train station, it begins to rain, and you of course
do not have an umbrella with you.
What is your reaction?
"Thanks you Lord. This will help me to be more aware
in the future."
Etc. Etc.
Simple enough is it not?!
Believe me, this Practice can really help to positively change
your outlook on life.
* * *
Blessings to all of you,
And may we all deepen our connection to self and Spirit over
the coming year!
With love and respect,
Charlie
