In almost all instances, when we are upset, angry, or stressed, our system gets out of synch and out of rhythm. Often at such times our breathing becomes shallow and we speak rather quickly, as if we need to say it all in one gulp. When we react like this, the more we speak the worse we tend to feel.
If instead you stay calm and talk slowly, in rhythm with a nice relaxed breathing cycle, you will find that you can very definitely alter the way you think and feel. I think you will likely be surprised by the results you can achieve with this Practice.
This Practice assumes you have a situation or relationship that you would like to be able to better understand or change. (If you have not yet done the “I am” Practice better to complete that Practice first.)
Read through these instructions once or twice before actually proceeding.
1. As a “Breath talker” you develop a clear breathing rhythm, in through the nose, and out through the mouth. As you develop your breathing rhythm start out with the same count/duration of the breath for inhaling and exhaling.
2. As you breathe imagine that you are preparing to send a blow dart into a nearby target. Imagine that you send the dart JUST as you begin your exhale. The sound and movement of your exhale in particular, is meant to mimic the imagined action, feeling, and direction, of throwing the dart. You will be making a sound something like “Wwhhou”
Find a crisp, relaxed, breathing rhythm, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and send the dart four or five times.
3. Once you are into a nice rhythm, do away with the “Wwhhou” sound and instead, begin to speak in short phrases in a free form manner, as you exhale.
“My name is Charlie”… (and then you inhale when you are ready)
“I live in Japan for thirty years now”… (and then you inhale when you are ready)
“Today is warm and beautiful outside.”… (and then you inhale when you are ready)
One short phrase for each exhale, and then inhale in an expansive manner. You can talk about whatever you like, and one phrase can be about one topic, while the next phrase can be about another topic. Just say whatever comes to mind.
4. Once you have the feel of this, stop and take a rest.
5. Now make up an “I am” statement.
Here is how to develop an “I am” statement:
Make believe that you have already achieved the results of something you would like to work on during the course of this Practice, and make a statement that describes how your feel, and experience “life” and or yourself having ALREADY achieved the results you desire. For instance, if you are wanting to lose weight you might say, “I am healthy and maintaining an optimal body weight.”
It is very important that you make an “I am” statement that gives you the mental image and emotional feeling of how you look and feel having ALREADY accomplished your goal, rather than using negative terms that describe how you do NOT want to be. An incorrectly formulated “I am” statement would be “I am no longer overweight and I feel good about myself.” In the same way, a successful athlete would NOT say to herself “I am no longer missing field goals during the important moments of a game.” Instead, she would state what she IS doing, having already accomplished her goal, “I am making my field goals during the important moments of a game.” It is important to keep your “I am” statement simple. In general, the simpler the better.
Once you have made your “I am” statement, get back into your breathing rhythm for several cycles and then speak your “I am” statement several times over several breathing cycles. Start speaking at the beginning of your exhale, pause, inhale, and then speak your “I am” statement again at the start of your next exhale. If you like you can go through more than one breathing cycle before repeating your “I am” statement again. Whatever feels most comfortable for you will be best.
6. Now get into your breath-talking rhythm for several cycles and then describe your overall experience as you stay in your “I am” frame of mind. Feel free to say whatever you like, as long as you speak slowly during an exhale, pause, and then inhale expansively.
If and whenever you get out of synch with your breath-talking, stop your speaking as you CONTINUE to breathe, and then start back again with the last statement that you were out of synch with. Staying in synch with your breathing is more important than the words you speak.
At times, depending on your intuition, you might actually want to stop the flow of your current conversation and make whatever other statements come to mind.
For instance: “I am feeling relaxed”… Or, “I can hear other people talking”… “I am wondering what will wind up happening”…
That’s all there is to this process. It is definitely simple, and yet it will likely take you a while to get the hang of it. Please know that I find this Practice to be of great value to people and I think you will likely be surprised by what you learn.